Boundaries are love, and without very firm boundaries, the children will suffer. If parents do not enforce established boundaries during childhood, when the child becomes an adult, society will enforce them by firing them from their jobs, giving them citations for speeding or incarcerating them in prison for more serious violations.
Some parents think that all their child has to do is say "sorry" and all will be fine. Yes, the child should say "sorry", but they must also show fruits of repentance such as paying for the item they broke through disobedience, being spanked, put in time out, or a combination of any of them, whatever is appropriate.
Saying "sorry" does not negate the consequences of disobedience. If one is truly sorry in court, that is taken into consideration for the punishment and sentence, but they still receive a penalty. Many parents today raise their children like the big bang theory. They do nothing and believe it will all turn out fine! We all know that type of parenting has destroyed America and left a pagan, socialistic nation.
Parents, especially mothers, remember that weakness is despised by people and children. The Arabs hate weakness; they only respect strength. Boys despise weakness in a parent, and disrespect the parent who is weak. That is why boys will be good around the father, but when Dad is working, they will run all over the mother if she appears weak.
When I was growing up, if my mother told my father when he came home from work that I had disobeyed her, then he gave me such a hard spanking that I was afraid to disobey my mother when he was working. I hear parents say, I spank my child but they still disobey. I believe most parents do not spank the child nearly hard enough, and the child plays the parent. Enough pain usually changes behavior.
Parents, be careful with time out. If one uses time out excessively when a hard spanking is what is needed, then the child becomes frustrated inside and anger continues to fester. At times, what is needed is an immediate hard smacking on the bottom, stopping their disobedience and encouraging ideal, obedient citizens (children). Remember, you do not have to beg or negotiate with your child. Be the parent first and not their friend. Example: If the child is too small to sit up in the front seat of a car, then don’t ask them if they want to sit in the back seat, but tell them that they have to for their own safety and your compliance with the law. Always remember: A quick smack usually can stop a child’s temper tantrum and turn your little brat into an angel. I quote from the following excellent author:
No Kidding—Peace is Possible in Your Home
By: Dennis Leap
Establish Just Rules, Equal Punishment
- Establish clearly defined rules to keep the peace in your home.
You could call it your family non-aggression pact.
- Don’t allow your children to put down or make fun of a sibling in a destructive or harmful way—ever. Don’t allow your children to bite, kick, punch, slap or scream at each other. Don’t allow an older child to tease a younger child. Don’t allow a younger child to harass an older child. -Don’t allow your children to invade each other’s private space. Depending on your home situation, private space can mean a bedroom, clothes closet, bookshelf, or bedside end table.
- Don’t allow your children to wear each other’s clothes without permission. If a disagreement begins to flare into an argument, make sure your children come to you for arbitration so a fight does not begin. However, if a fight occurs, be sure to discipline all involved. Teach your children that fighting does not solve problems.
- After you establish the rules, you must also establish the penalties for all violations of the rules. Be sure your children understand that consequences will have to be paid for all pact violations. Naturally, not all violations of the rules would carry the same weight, so punishments should vary. For example, biting, kicking, slapping, or screaming should carry a heavier punishment than wearing clothes without permission. However, if one sibling ignores the rule on clothing, then a more severe penalty may be necessary.
- Above all, enforce the rules consistently, equally and equitably. This will prove to be the real secret to your success. Lasting peace in your home is the product of right and stable government (Isaiah 9:7).
- Never abdicate the government or give complete self-rule to your children. Although your children may complain about your strictness at times, in the long run they will love you more for your commitment to their protection. Note: Even the best parenting doesn't guarantee the child will grow up to serve God. Each individual has a free will which God cannot violate. Train up children according to the principles and morality dictated in the Scriptures. If the parents themselves have godly parents, then heavily consider the advice given by the child's grandparents. Your parents...the grandparents...should have acquired more of the wisdom of God during their longer life and have more experience in raising children. Consequently, they should be a strong asset to the parents to seek their counsel and advice. Children, if you don't honor your parents and respect their advice, then be slow to criticize them. When your children grow up, the parenting skills that you chose to follow will be evident for all to see. May all godly parents and grandparents work together to produce godly results.
© 2015 World Ministries International